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hmmm welll where to start... lots been goin on i can say that ive never been more sad depressed alone and miserable in my entire life. But on the same note i can say that ive never been more in love and more happy with my babes KEVIN then ever before. between classes hospital and work im completely draining myself. running myself till i can run no more. i keep tellin myself that i only have 11 more months and ill be outta here but it seems so far away. everyone keeps tellin me that theyve never met ne one as strong as me and that if ne one can do it i can but im feeling discouraged.
ive been doing the family thing lately and gettin away from the people that make me wonder how the hell they even have ne friends at all. i often think about the past and the people that i used to have the best times with and then i remember why they are no longer in my presence or will be in my future. ( thankfully)
today the 7th its been a whole 6 months Since Jens passed. i still cant believe it and it still hurts like the day found out. i swear i havent been the same since that day.
Old navy licks big hairy balls schools good and workin at the hospital is best. Sleep is desirable and hard to come by and my goal of maintaining straight A's is goin Down the shitter but all in all i guess its okay.
i just keep praying hoping to make it by another day. By tuesday im ready for the weekend again. i just keep my head up smile pretend im okay and hope that by the Grace of God im around the next day

theres been Lots goin on lately...im starting Second year on Monday and its only by the grace of God... i decided im gettin back to the basics of my life. School work God and ppl that actually mean Something to me. im taking all of my extra time and devoting it to myself and myself Only. I think that the new me which really is the old me is goin to be amazing. i had a year of amazing Fun and its amounted to nothing more then a good time. here on Out no Bullshit no fake ppl no friends in the Burgh Simply aquaintences. There was one person here that i put all my trust in for over a year and as it turns out i Dont even know that person either. this is not me this is not who i am. im too good of a person to be dealing with the pettyness of these people. I miss Jen and i Miss Home being here is making me a strong person i want to Graduate with good grades and get outta here start a life with the ppl that mean the most to me back home or ne where other then the Burgh. Im no City Girl this is for sure.

Some ppl are meant to always be in your life and well Some just arent && im starting to think that u are an Arent...deepest apologies!

On a lighter note my bestest bestest bestest friend my lover of all lovers my heart and soul is coming to the burgh tonight and i cannnnnnnnoooootttttttt wait ...KSP! K S muther freakin P